I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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