Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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