i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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