if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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