Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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