So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
