remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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