she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize