I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
