I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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