You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
