OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
