I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
