drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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