I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
