I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
