After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am available for nakedness
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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