you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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