doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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