East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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