i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
