So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
