On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he shaved USA in his pubs
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
