Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize