...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
