There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
