and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's just like the Real World with babies
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
