i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
