well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
