I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
