i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
