Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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