I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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