you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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