ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
