he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
