I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
