Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
