no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
