I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
