I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just blew my weed a kiss
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
