There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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