The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
