my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
