i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
