I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would ride that face into the sunset
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
