let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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