I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
