My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just google imaged poop.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
