There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
