HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
