im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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