I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
