Too much gin, very little bucket
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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