you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
