That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
