so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
