She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize