the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
