I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Can I color on your dick again?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
