ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Someone came in the potted fern
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
