we have pet lesbian snakes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
