Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
