every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
