That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
