For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
