I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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