my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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