I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
