Dude my mom stole all your condoms
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
